#80 Yoko Ono – Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! How did she slip this far down on the list? The shrewish crone who broke up the Beatles and steals all the money. According to Forbes magazine she “earned” $20 million dollars last year. The money can presumably be broken down this way: $19,999,990 from Beatles’ royalties, and $10 from her personal CD royalties. Stingily keeps all the money for herself and her beloved Sean, while Julian lives in a trailer in England. Claims she did NOT know who John Lennon was when she met him. Puh-leeze.
#79 Don Henley – His songs will put you to sleep faster than reading a mutual fund prospectus. Former member of The Eagles, who supposedly hold the record for most albums ever sold for a single album. Yet we cannot find one person who owns it. Keeps the great Joe Walsh of Eagles’ fame locked in a closet because God forbid Joe perform the mesmerizing, “Desperado” without him.
#78 Louie Anderson – The corpulent character that has been boring the pants off America for 20 years with tale, after tale, after tale of his alchy pop. Walk it off, LARD ASS! Get some NEW material. Didn’t he have a couple of network shows? Now he is plodding around on the rarely syndicated Family Feud set. SHOW ME EMBARRASSING CAREER MOVES!
#77 Steven Seagal – - Don't know why we hate this guy, just always have. OK, we’ll give it a shot. His movies suck. Come on, the only action star that kicks everyone’s ass in every movie, yet his physique needs about 47 more pounds to catch the aforementioned Louie Anderson’s girth. The hair – you’re not a frigin’ samurai! Lastly, strikes out with every Hollywood starlet in town
#76 Geena Davis – Stop smoking. You know that’s not good for your receding front tooth. Has an imaginary tray in her mouth, which makes it very uncomfortable to watch and listen to her.
#75 Mike Piazza – New York Mets catcher. This fruitcake spends all day primping that silly facial hair. Roger Clemens throws a bat at him, and he goes home and primps his facial hair. His team gets smoked in the World Series; he goes home and primps his facial hair. Stop primping and start playing you pixie-like pretty petunia with your pleasing picturesque mustachioed face. And say that last sentence 5 times fast.
#74 Gloria Estefan – Our nausea with this woman began at the dawn of her career in the mid 80's, and has continued ever since. We thought our prayers were answered when the bus flipped. Close, but no cigar!
#73 Gary Coleman - Sure he was cute and the “Diff’rent Strokes” was a cute show. What would a Saturday night in the 80’s be like without at least one, “WHATCHOO TALKIN BOUT WILLIS?!" And he certainly was more entertaining than his arch-nemesis Emanuel Lewis. However, the “Diff’rent Strokes" and GC both aged horrifically. How depressing is it to see the three-foot Gary with the gray hair and a cigar? The virginal former child star recently announced in 2001 he will never speak of "Diff’rent Strokes" again. Come on Gary, how are we supposed to sleep at night?
#72 L. Brent Bozell – (Parents Television Council Watchdog) This numskull tells YOU what YOU should be able to watch. Never-mind he doesn’t have a real job, and survives off the coffers of religious right wing zealots, he knows what’s best for YOU! It’s sad, but some people’s day is highlighted by watching wrestling and listening to Howard Stern. And I, Whoops - I mean “they” have every right to do so if they CHOOSE to. Can someone blame these unfit parents once? Having your first name as an initial is gay too.
#71 Michael Rapaport – Yo, Yo, Yo, What’s up Homeboy? Neck and neck with Eminem for wigger of the year. Talent-less actor that toils in Woody Allen and Spike Lee movies – so thankfully we don’t have to see them. Does not understand the concept of stalking. Grandmaster Mike, people are supposed to stalk you, you AREN’T supposed to stalk young girls.
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