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Other Things We Hate
Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show – Just what you want to see after a hard day’s work. An opulent, fat as bacon broad parading around MSG with a pampered pooch dressed in a pink freakin’ tiara. May you be stuck in an elevator watching the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show in its entirety.
Cash bars at weddings.
S.T.O.M.P. – The idiots that smack trash can lids on each other’s ass and what not making a big racket. Now this is unwatchable for 5 minutes on Leno and Letterman - MUST switch the channel immediately. However, they have tricked some stupid aristocrat house-frows into seeing this headache with their husbands. “Come on Harry, it’s time for 2 hours of our avante garde chowchow inane art form bullcrap.”
People that IM you 10X a day and say, “Waht’s Up” with NOTHING to say.
Black people that sing national anthem like this, “Oooooooooooooooooooh saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay..aaaaaaaaaaaaa…. Can you seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…” Just sing it right Sister, Just sing it right.
Moon Over My Hammy – Wake up at 8am, take shower and look more handsome than 10 movie stars combined. Drive 55 minutes to Valley Forge for job fair. The most compelling employer is, “Moon Over Hammy!” That’s right, bust your ass 4 years in college, get experience and get unceremoniously laid off (while rich Jew owner sun bakes fat ass in Hawaii for 2 months), and then sell F’N cured salted meat in a Goddamn tin! Moon Over My F’N Hammy!
Frivolous Lawsuits – example – A group of Italian Americans suing, “The Sopranos.”
HitBox.com and AltaVista.com – NEVER visit or support these evil sites. Our friends, family, and legions of fans clicked on these sites and wasted their time while these idiots were our advertisers. We have had over 10,000 hits and 2,000 payable clicks in the past 6 months, and have a grand total of $0 to show for it.
2000 Election – Now we have nothing against old people per se, however those old senile fools in FLA really have thrown a proverbial monkey wrench into the democracy, and more importantly, have depreciated the stock market considerably. NASDAQ reached yearly lows thanks to these hammerheads. George W. was more than obnoxious putting together his cabinet prematurely. And that Tennessee Robot, well lets not even speak of NASDAQ ruining Tennessee Robot. Hanging chad, pregnant chad, dimpled chad, Mary Beth’s boyfriend chad, can all suck it.
People Rude To Waiters / Waitresses – Now believe it or not, being a waiter or waitress probably wasn’t their first choice in life, but they are stuck doing it. Serving your fat ass a tasty Eggs Florentine in record time isn’t the be all and end all to life. So, for all you morons who act like you are better than they are, talk down to them, and are obnoxious, you can go suck an egg. What’s the difference between a toilet and a waitress? A toilet only has to deal with one a-hole at a time.
Cell Phone Abusers – You know these dumb sumbitches. There’s the, “Hi look at me everyone I have a cell phone.” We’re very proud of you buddy. Everyone and their brother has one. Next, we have the rude bastards that conduct transactions in stores and make this time consuming and tedious act even more dreadful. Oh forget it, there’s no hope for these imbeciles.
People that pronounce harassment like harris-ment.
People that spit when they talk (especially when it lands on you!)
Tony Danza – The anti-Christ makes all lists.
Patronizing, Dirty Bums – These are the dirty bums that say, “Thank-you,” and “God bless you,” when you don’t have any of YOUR hard earned money to give them. Specifically, the one on City Line outside of Taco Bell.
Howard Stern’s commercial breaks - You can drive a half hour to work and hear nothing but commercials.
Porn Stars doing “Bit” – We do NOT think people watch this stuff for the acting, nor the comedic stylings of these filthy hacks. The guy that did the Robin Williams impression in, “Snatch Adams” should be thrown in a trash-can and rolled down a mountain top.
Bad Kissers - When a person jams their tongue down your throat like they are trying to remove your tonsils or something. Relax, Pig.
People over 12 years of age who still refer to their parents as ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ Grow up you attention seeking freaks.
Oprah and Rosie's Magazines. Not that we have ever read them, but it's the principle of the matter...
Bad Drivers – People that don’t use their turn signal, truck drivers, people that get in the left lane to make right turns and vice versa, cell phone idiots again, people that pull in front of you and go 25 mph, people that stop 50 feet behind the car in front of them, immigrants with no license and can’t read traffic signs, people going 55mph in left lane of an interstate, people-who's-cars-are-all-smashed-up-who-cut-you-off-so-you-know-exactly-why-their-car-is-all-smashed-up, and yada, yada, yada.
Taxi cabs and drivers that smell like BO.
Guys with whitie-tighties, and dames whose bra and panties don't match
People with poor hygiene.
The Office Ass Kisser - You know the "person" that brown noses a bit too much. Likely to send an email to everyone regarding the boss' Christmas present like this, "Mrs. Hammy is so very generous to us all --- all the time --- and this will be our way to show our appreciation."
Motorized Cart Abusers – Now the motorized carts are fine for the elderly and handicapped at the mall or store. However, the big fatsoes (who are not old or handicapped) that usually use these things are just fat, out of shape, lazy pricks. Get off the cart fat-ass and get some much-needed exercise. Disgraceful.
The apple-cranberry crumb dessert that comes with Swanson Hungry Man dinners. This ‘treat’ tastes like garbage and when it is cooked in the microwave it spills over into the other sections ruining them.
People who still use dated catch-phrases like, "Is that your final answer?" and "Alrighty then!"
And last, but certainly NOT least, FAT BROADS IN MINI-VANS WITH 4 KIDS AT THE FAST FOOD DRIVE THRU. These ladies' contempt for human protocol is an abomination. Use your common sense Fatty. The fast food drive thru is meant for 1 to 2 transactions ONLY... NOT 7 HAPPY MEALS. We know you are SO busy, but the normal human beings that get 1 or 2 meals are busy too.
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