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Best of 'Denny' Miller

Our fictitious Denny takes knocks on everyone as only America’s most coxcombry comic can do… 'Denny' checks into the guestbook from time to time. So sit back and enjoy some of our favorite Labryrinthian like musings of our favorite conceited dandy.

Thanks, Babe.

denny I don’t want to go on a rant here, but I was more excited than Mary Kay Laterno at a Somoan Cub Scout meeting that the site was up and running. I was more tantalized than Bobby Hope at an Ann Gillian siting. Good Christ, I felt like Henri de Toulouse Lautrec The Toilette without the site up. Why I am not on this 2-bit list yet? That’s lower than a Billy Shoemaker testicle after a night of Blushin' Russian’s. That’s just my opinion or whatever… Be back soon…

denny I don’t want to go out on a rant here, but you cats have more balls than the Harlem Globetrotters and more hits than a dealer at a Dead show. I haven’t seen strikes like this since Joan Crawford struck her kids with the f*cking wire hanger. Anywho, the site is hotter than Count Rumford’s fireplace in f*cking July. I mean it’s hotter than Yul Brynner’s naked nut-sac on a tanning salon bed. Why am I not on the site? That’s more f*cked up than Daryl Strawberry on his birthday. I mean that is disgusting, it’s grosser than a fat broad with a “F*CK DIETING“ tee shirt. That’s just my opinion or whatever… Be back soon…

denny Glad to see people signing the book, in fact, I am happier than Richard Simmons on his way to a Ricky Martin concert. That's great to see the Italian folk joining the conversation, I haven't seen this many freakin' Italians since Tatu scored the game winner against Cameroon in Naples. Anywhoo, a coo-coo-ca-choo job by that posse... Now, what about everyone else? When was the last time you cats watched TV? If you have no comments on any celebrity, then the last time you probably watched TV, Johnny freakin' Ritter had a prime time network gig. Christ, "Nietzsche" was the freakin book of the week, and Fructuoso Rivera banged his first Paysandúin intern... But hey, the site is hotter than an Emeril Lagasse enchilada sun bathing in freakin' Sierra Leone... Anyhow, you cats still make me howl. After the latest additions I was howling like a group of shipwrecked GI's in Fukuoka greeting Martha Raye.

denny What's shakin'? I am happier than Bobby Downey Jr. with a mouthful of Zoloft that some people have stepped up to the guestbook. Might I digress, but some of these dated references date back to when Hoagy Carmichael got his first clavichord. All the new guests are welcome except I don't know about this TOP DAWG. I think I'd rather hear Milli freakin' Vanilli perform their own arranged sinfonietta than listen to that nonsense. I think I'd rather toss Ernie Borgnine's salad. Hey babe, back to the site, good work. Your rant on Danza is a bit much babe. Freakin' William James Durrant's 13 volumed Story of Civilization was more compact than that horsesh*t. I mean you make Margie Munnerlyn Mitchell look like the patron saint of brevity. That's news to me (or whatever the hell I say).

denny Hey Babe, sorry I have not been around for awhile, someone stole my thesaurus. This Lit character is tough to understand; watching an Erik Bogosian avant garde piece in Hamitic Egyptian is easier. Anywho babe, I would rather read a didactic poem on the virtues and vices of a ruler by Tommy Occleve then listen to Lit spew that overindulgent bullshit. And don’t try to slip anything past Sn@--, it would be easier for Akrabbim to slide through the freakin maaleh-acrabbim unnoticed. This arguing between you proletariat bombastic buffoons is less civil than a shitfaced New Zealander and British clerk prior to the Treaty of Waitangi. I have not been this upset since I saw myself and Corey Feldman in that nauseating feature “Bordello of Blood” Well I gotta run Babe. Of course, that’s just my opinion, yada, yada, yada…

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