Other Things We Hate
Newer Rants Up Top!
"Rhonda" - People that name their child Rhonda in 2005. Perhaps these characters that name their child Rhonda did not realize that according to the US Census Bureau that 93.7% of Rhonda's were currently officially listed as "bimbo's." Nice choice Dad.
Bank tellers at Wachovia Bank (Bala Cynwyd) - The African-American darlings are a treat don't get me wrong. However, when you ask for your $50 cash back they lick the return envelope like it was their first ham sandwich. Ladies, just put the money in the envelope and ship it back. For Chr!st sake, is someone going to sprint by and steal the $50 envelope? PLACE IN ENVELOPE AND RETURN. PLACE IN ENVELOPE AND RETURN. NO LICK. NO LICK! So they lick the envelope like an R Kelly video, then you have to open the saturated envelope and proceed to Taco Bell. Your hands are saturated with yuck spit and then you have to eat your double decker with said residue. Really, really gross and a real downer.
TURKEY HILL LOW CARB Ice Cream - Perhaps the folks at Turkey Hill mistakingly placed the low-carb moniker on their version of a LAXATIVE. A true cleanser that should have warning labels on it. (If you want a low carb ice cream that won't rip the ever living @ss out of you go with Bryer's Carb-Smart. - Thank you, Thank you.)
People that name their child "Espn" Remarkably a majority of these @ssclowns are white!
You are standing second in a line of eight at the Wawa (local convenience store) with one clerk. The second clerk arrives and announces she is now open; instead of stating that she will take the NEXT in line. Immediately, slob #8 in line rushes to first in line with his BASKET. Slob, if you have over $50 dollars of product in a convenience store you are doing something WRONG. ATTENTION Wawa Associates, READ MY LIPS, 'Can I please help the NEXT customer in line"
The Mexican custodian lady at the office that has to shove her oversized yellow bucket in the bathroom doorway entrance to clean three times a day. Of course, this happens to be the three times a day you have to take a leak.
African Americans that scream at the movie theater screen. (The actors can't hear you) See ya later $16...
Guys under 60 years old who wear bow ties. Especially that annoying Sunday morning stooge.
New Jersey Cops that guard the Ben Franklin Bridge. We know you are bunch of yellow-belly, lily-liver, tenderfoots that couldn’t be real cops. So, you have to cowardly give tickets to guys working 14 hours a day for going 56 instead of 45 at 11pm on a Monday night on a deserted barren bridge. Move those chicken wings Turkey. No problem with REAL cops. Just sissies on bridge patrol full time.
When a guy wants to cut off their baseball hall of fames father head and put it in a jar to try and sell the DNA.
People that don’t give the courtesy wave when you let them into traffic.
20 year-old meathead bouncers who examine your $20 bill for 6 minutes when all you want is a drink!
Toll collectors and beer distributor clerks that refer to you as “Boss” and “Chief.” No. Thank you PROFESSOR.
When this guy is on the same plane as you. ----->
Guys in their 30’s with matted hair who ride 10 speeds and have a big brush or comb in their back pocket.
When the Love Boat story-line revolved around a Doctor Adam Bricker (Bernie Kopell) love connection.
Woman at retail stores screaming their child’s first and MIDDLE name. “Brianna Marie, get over here. Brianna Marie, now!” Great, now we all know your squab, A.D.D. child’s name. Congratulations.
Grown men at Michael Jackson concerts waving their arms like a 12 year old at an NSYNC concert.
HBO shows with nudist and swingers displaying their obese sickening physiques.
Hockey dads who kill their son's opponent's father.
Enron executives that were too busy lining their own pockets and politicians pockets rather than run an honest company. Meanwhile, they sold out their shares ($90 a share), froze employees’ rights to get out of the stock, and callously watched the common man lose his/her pension (worth 20 cents now).
When an adult film star sheds tears of joy after receiving an AVN award for, “Best Anal”.
Canned Iced Tea.
Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show – Just what you want to see after a hard day’s work. An opulent, fat as bacon, broad parading around MSG with a pampered pooch dressed in a pink freakin’ tiara. May you be stuck in an elevator watching the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show in its entirety.
Cash bars at weddings.
S.T.O.M.P. – The idiots that smack trash can lids on each other’s ass and what not, making a big racket. Now this is unwatchable for 5 minutes on Leno and Letterman - MUST switch the channel immediately. However, they have tricked some stupid aristocrat house-frows into seeing this headache with their husbands. “Come on, Harry. It’s time for 2 hours of our avante garde chowchow inane art form bullcrap.”
People that IM you 10X a day and say, “Waht’s Up” with NOTHING to say.
Black people that sing national anthem like this, “Oooooooooooooooooooh saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay..aaaaaaaaaaaaa…. Can you seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…” Just sing it right, Sister. Just sing it right.
Moon Over My Hammy – Wake up at 8am, take shower and look more handsome than 10 movie stars combined. Drive 55 minutes to Valley Forge for job fair. The most compelling employer is, “Moon Over My Hammy!” That’s right, bust your ass 4 years in college, get experience and get unceremoniously laid off (while rich Jew owner sun bakes fat ass in Hawaii for 2 months), and then sell F’N cured salted meat in a Goddamn tin! Moon Over My F’N Hammy!
Frivolous Lawsuits – example – A group of Italian Americans suing, “The Sopranos.”
HitBox.com and AltaVista.com – NEVER visit or support these evil sites. Our friends, family, and legions of fans clicked on these sites and wasted their time while these idiots were our advertisers. We have had over 10,000 hits and 2,000 payable clicks in the past 6 months, and have a grand total of $0 to show for it.
The Office Ass Kisser - You know the "person" that brown noses a bit too much. Likely to send an email to everyone regarding the boss' Christmas present like this, "Mrs. Hammy is so very generous to us all --- all the time --- and this will be our way to show our appreciation."
People Rude To Waiters / Waitresses – Now believe it or not, being a waiter or waitress probably wasn’t their first choice in life, but they are stuck doing it. Serving your fat ass a tasty Eggs Florentine in record time isn’t the be all and end all to life. So, for all you morons who act like you are better than they are, talk down to them, and are obnoxious, you can go suck an egg. What’s the difference between a toilet and a waitress? A toilet only has to deal with one a-hole at a time.
Cell Phone Abusers – You know these dumb sumbitches. There’s the, “Hi look at me everyone I have a cell phone.” We’re very proud of you buddy. Everyone and their brother has one. Next, we have the rude bastards that conduct transactions in stores and make this time consuming and tedious act even more dreadful. Oh forget it, there’s no hope for these imbeciles.
People that pronounce harassment like harris-ment.
People that spit when they talk (especially when it lands on you!)
Tony Danza – The anti-Christ makes all lists.
Patronizing, Dirty Bums – These are the dirty bums that say, “Thank-you,” and “God bless you,” when you don’t have any of YOUR hard earned money to give them. Specifically, the one on City Line outside of Taco Bell.
Howard Stern’s commercial breaks - You can drive a half-hour to work and hear nothing but commercials.
Porn Stars doing “Bit” – We do NOT think people watch this stuff for the acting, nor the comedic stylings of these filthy hacks. The guy that did the Robin Williams impression in “Snatch Adams” should be thrown in a trash-can and rolled down a mountain top.
Guys with tightie-whities, and dames whose bra and panties don't match.
Bad Kissers - When a person jams their tongue down your throat like they are trying to remove your tonsils or something. Relax, Pig.
People over 12 years of age who still refer to their parents as ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ Grow up, you attention seeking freaks.
Oprah and Rosie's Magazines. Not that we have ever read them, but it's the principle of the matter...
Bad Drivers – People that don’t use their turn signal, truck drivers, people that get in the left lane to make right turns and vice versa, cell phone idiots again, people that pull in front of you and go 25 mph, people that stop 50 feet behind the car in front of them, immigrants with no license and can’t read traffic signs, people going 55mph in left lane of an interstate, people-who's-cars-are-all-smashed-up-who-cut-you-off-so-you-know-exactly-why-their-car-is-all-smashed-up, and yada, yada, yada.
Taxi cabs and drivers that smell like BO.
People with poor hygiene.
Motorized Cart Abusers – Now the motorized carts are fine for the elderly and handicapped at the mall or store. However, the big fatsoes (who are not old or handicapped) that usually use these things are just fat, out of shape, lazy pricks. Get off the cart fat-ass and get some much-needed exercise. Disgraceful.
The apple-cranberry crumb dessert that comes with Swanson Hungry Man dinners. This ‘treat’ tastes like garbage and when it is cooked in the microwave it spills over into the other sections ruining them.
People who still use dated catch-phrases like, "Is that your final answer?" and "Alrighty then!"
And last, but certainly NOT least, FAT BROADS IN MINI-VANS WITH 4 KIDS AT THE FAST FOOD DRIVE THRU. These ladies' contempt for human protocol is an abomination. Use your common sense Fatty. The fast food drive thru is meant for 1 to 2 transactions ONLY... NOT 7 HAPPY MEALS. We know you are SO busy, but the normal human beings that get 1 or 2 meals are busy too.
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