#110 Gene Simmons – – Ki$$ sellout. Ladies and gentleman we have an announcement to make. Gene Simmons has a foot long tongue. Now Gene, when someone asks your name you don’t have to stick out the silly tongue. When someone ask you about the umpteenth reunion tour you don’t have to stick out your tongue. A glorified one hit wonder band with kooky make-up, Simmons somehow manages to SELL everything from Ki$$ Kondums to Ki$$ fondue. Real Name is Chaim Witz.
#109 Cher – Ignorant imbecile who displayed opprobrious disdain towards Sonny Bono for 20+ years. Sonny drops dead and you can’t turn on the television without Cher openly weeping and carrying on how great he was. Face pulled back so far she resembles a horse with eyes on the side of her face.
#108 Randall Simon – First baseman for the Pittsburgh Pirates and the reigning bully of Midwest meat. The Pirates were visiting the Milwaukee Brewers and they decided to have some classic Midwest fun. They dressed 4 employees as a hot dog, Italian sausage, massive bratwurst, and Polish sausage respectively for a spirited race. Unfortunately, the 240lb ruffian Randall took it upon himself to bop the Italian sausage over the head with a bat as it ran past the Pirates dugout? A 19 year-old female was donning the Italian sausage costume. Why this antagonizing bulldozer struck the Italian sausage and not the massive bratwurst perhaps we will never know?
#107 Ryan Seacrest – American Idol @ss clown. Seacrest OUT! Didn’t know there could be such a thing as Carson Daly light? Seacrest OUT! Clear Channel’s golden boy for the new millennium. Ha-Ha! Seacrest OUT! Appears to be in love with Simon from American Idol. Seacrest OUT!
#106 Michael Moore – Conspiracy filmaker. Has big thick glasses, is obese and a has a bad haircut. Therefore he knows MORE than everyone else. Whether you agree with President Bush or not, it was truly a national disgrace when munch-a-lot blasted Bush during genesis of war at the Oscars. Rest assured, if there is something wrong with America, multi-chin will find a way to make some cash out of it! How fat is Moore? He’s so fat, when he takes a shower, his feet don't get wet. How fat is Moore? He’s so fat, The cashier at KFC asked what size bucket he wanted and he said the one on the roof.
#105 Martha Stewart –– Greedy Gretchen. This shrewd businesswoman saved $51K by illegally selling Imclone stock. Guilty! Martha Stewart enterprises drops 25% and Martha personally loses over $10 million. Great Job Greedy! Treated employees shabbily.
#104 Sean Penn– Osama Penn Laden. Picture says a thousand words to the left. “Mr. PEACE” has a long history of spousal abuse and physically striking paparazzi. Embarrassed retards everywhere with that over the top performance in, “I am Sam.” Finally, Hollywood’s leftist awarded him the Best Actor Oscar over the great Bill Murray. Next time Bill you will have to run around in an Iraqi flag and publish incoherent political rhetoric newspaper advertisements.
#103 Madonna - Although she was born and raised in Detroit, she now speaks with a faux English accent which was really the last straw. This is on top of horrible movies such as “Shanghai Surprise” and “Swept Away.” Her 40 years of being a dirty wh0re has naturally prepared her for involvement in the study of Kabballah. Tried unsuccessfully to wage a war with pirating her new “hits” and wounded up with her site hacked. Named her child Lourdes. And finally, thanked the French of all people for their cowardice way in the Iraqi conflict. She stated, "Here in France I feel at home." It’s over Johnny, It’s Over.
#102 James Lipton - Pretentious blockhead of Inside the Actor’s Studio. Forget HBO on Sunday night; let’s watch Lipton ask Alan Alda what his favorite color is! Similar to William Shatner in that he is finally starting to realize he is a schlemiel.
#101 Jim Gray – This sports broadcaster is quite possibly the biggest jerk in the media. That’s akin to being the biggest A-hole in the Baldwin family…NO small feat! Single-handedly ruined the entire MLB all-century team presentation by choosing to badger and harass Pete Rose in what certainly was the inappropriate time. Always asking strange, awkward negative questions at inopportune times. Ugly to boot.
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